The Duck Man and other complaints

It's 4:30 in the afternoon and I am sitting on my patio listening to the water gurgle in the little stream that runs behind my condo (I can do this at 4:30 in the afternoon because I DON'T HAVE A FRIGGIN' JOB) and I just saw the Duck Man walk by. Allow me to elaborate. The Duck Man is a single gentleman of a certain age, probably in his mid 50's, who lives in my complex and every few days,